....and the Jitters Begin

I was looking at the calender at work today to confirm what days I would need off for the wedding, honeymoon, another out of town wedding, wedding preparation (can I just take the summer off) and I think my pre-wedding day jitters began. I am not sure if it because the thought of getting married sounded more like this is it, you and Paul the rest of your lives, together forever, until you die, oh my gosh that is a long time. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Regroup..................

It also may have been because I noticed I now have in reality 3 months left and have a lot of things to complete yet. The fact that our countdown was supposed to official start after the tux fitting but did not really set in because not many of the groomsmen could make it and now that we get engagement pictures taken in 42.5 hours could also be contributing to the nervousness I am experiencing.

My heart is racing just thinking about all the stuff I have to do yet. I don't know how I am going to last 3 more months (it is my honeymoon yet????) I want to wake up and everything is planned and it is the morning of the wedding but then I would miss a lot of things that hopefully increase the joy of that day (those that do not make me have a nervous breakdown along the way anyway).

Priceless Treasures

While cleaning out the old fish/pet shop, which is attached to our garage, I found so many old tools, old containers which were used to hold pet food, and other old odds and ends. It was really fun to see all the old supplies in it with my grandmother's handwriting written on them.

While cleaning, I came across 2 boxes labeled "bench" and being the curious individual that I am, I decided to open the box and put the object together. It was a fun little project and even sentimental because I know at some point my grandmother had the idea of putting this together.

The bench turned out rather nice although while putting it together (nothing was open yet not even the bag of bolts, nuts, and screws) there was one piece missing, and the directions were for a similar but obviously different bench (it gave the right directions only extra steps and parts that were not included in the version we put together).

As I said it is a nice little bench, it was scary to sit on at first, worried it would crack due to old age. Now the problem is....where do I put it, so many choices.

Example of Restlessness

As I stated in an earlier blog, I am the type of person who likes to stay busy (but also complains that I have too much to do and am always tired). Well today is a prime example of how restless I can become.

Paul and I finally have a day off together which he does not want to spend out doing yard work, which does need done but to keep our sanity we thought we would take a break for once in the last 2 months. This is something I have been waiting for for a long time, and what is my reaction to this new found laziness he is displaying...

"Let's do something like go on a walk, on a picnic, SHOPPING (to finish purchasing our engagement photo outfits), anything to get out of this house and use up this energy I have left before I grow too old to use it anymore or even have it."

I don't know why I always feel I have to be doing something, I guess the normal 8-10 hours of sleep that I get a day may contribute to my activity level (but oh I love my sleep).

Oh well yard work will wait, we will be lazy, and my restlessness will continue until I become tired later in the day and decide naptime or bedtime has approached.

Sun Rises are Beautiful....

.....especially when they come with a few bottles of wine (and a bit of beer), a camp fire, and great friends. You know the whole thing about trying to stay young by staying up late, well last night I was 17 again. Katie, Jamie and I sat around the camp fire last night acting like top notch boy scouts keeping the fire going when it got cold, stirring it when the coals need oxygen the whole nine yards.

We talked about the past, the future, the wedding, and anything else we could conjure up (the conversations got more and more pointless but yet the time we spent out there was fun and you know how they say time flies when you're having fun...well time flew.

When one of us finally spoke up and said "man I am getting tired" it was 4:30am. So we packed some things up and heading inside only to discover that our sleep would not come easily due to our hunger and what better than pudgy pies on the fire at 5 in the morning. So we roasted pudgy pies on the fire and ate and laughed some more and gasped as we watched the sky gradually get lighter and lighter (it was really neat to watch; it has been a long time since I have seen that, like 6-7 years).

Then finally at about 2 till 6 we decided it was time for bed. They slept on the pullout sofa and I went to stealthily crawl in to bed as to not wake Paul, ready with an excuse like I just got up to get a glass of water. Although as I lay down cautiously, low and behold his alarm begins to blare through the silent air. He switched the noisy thing off look up at me, frozen in my get in bed quite cause it is late, pose and began to laugh. Our conversation was short due to my drowsiness.

Paul - "I see you girls had a fun night!"

Me - "Yup"

Paul - "I have to go into work for a bit, you get some sleep and when I get back we can do yard work, cause if you sweat it out you feel better."

Me - "I don't believe you, I am going to sleep for a while you wake me up when......no don't wake me up at all I want to sleep.

So our campfire was great along with our conversation, wine, beer, company and our sunrise, well, that was bittersweet; beautiful yet exhausting.

All in a days work.

Although being around children all day can cause you to lose you sanity there are certain measures you can take to make your day a little less hectic. That is............bring in a bit of humor.

Summer has officially begun!!! yay!!!

Summer officially begins for me when our summer league volleyball starts and we have a reason to stay up late and act like young college kids again and drink till we have to take work off the next day (not me I have Fridays off - sorry Paul). And that starts tonight with our first game of the season at 11pm.

The last 3 years we have won the tournament at the end of our 12 week league season although this year we may have to suck it up and give away our winning streak. I purposely scheduled my bachelorette/bachelor party in the mid of August since the end of August is usually when tournaments are. Well a couple friend (the guy is on our team ) of me and Paul's, getting married 2 weeks after us, decided to schedule their bachelorette/bachelor the weekend after ours which falls at the end of August.

So my initial thought was that we would need to find 2 guys to play in that day while Paul and John celebrate John's bachelor life by golfing (since Paul is in the wedding). Well this year time frames have changed we started earlier and their are less teams so either tournaments will be at the beginning of August -or- on OUR bachelorette/bachelor party day. If that happens we are in a pickle since everyone on our team........is in our wedding.

So here is hoping for a fun season full of lots of beers and laughs. Since it will be depressing if we can't take the prize money home this year. Oh well as one of our teammates/bridesmaids stated "if they fall on the same day we have better things to do that day then play volleyball." - I agree. I'm getting married we need to celebrate my single life - and oh what a good one it was (not as good as spending the rest of my life with you though Paul)

~I guess we will find out what will happen with the end of our summer tonight when we get the schedules. Cross your fingers "August 9th, August 9th, August 9th".

Our pre-wedding decisions.

When Paul proposed to me he handed me a round solitaire white gold perfect fit ring and then almost wet himself as he told me about the wrap HE picked out for me to go on and use as our band, and asked me over and over if I wanted to see it (he was a little excited about it).

Although he may have still been shaking from nervousness a bit also because it took him asking me 3 times before I remembered I had to say "yes" instead of "gasp" gasp" "ahhhhhh" "om my, really" and as if that and tackling him was not enough (geesh what does he expect I have been waiting for 4 years now).

Anyway half way through our engagement we (or I, can't quite remember) decided WE wanted to get a band to go with it also. So the beautiful wrap (which remember he picked out himself) was fitted to the solitaire and I now have a larger engagement ring and a band for our wedding (NICE!!!)

-Again WE decided this, I want to stress that although there may have been a little bit of encouraging on my part. Which only adds more truth to Paul's famous words "what do women want?" ANSWER= "more".

Wedding Count Down

I have been very organized with my wedding plans and it is a pleasant surprise since the rest of my life is as unorganized as one can get. I have all of the major things booked, I have most of the minor stuff done and am working on minute details now.

Tonight my sister and I are going shopping so she can help me pick out what to wear for engagement photos (my hardest task yet). I want something cute yet nice looking, young yet mature, and dressy yet casual where and the heck do you find an outfit that fits that description. The answer is you don't, you find 3 and that means Paul gets 3 too (poor Paul).

You know what not poor Paul all he has to do is change his shirt. He is getting out of the whole picking 5 out trying them on putting 2 back trying 9 more on and putting them all back than going to another store and trying on 6 more.......................(I am tired already can I go home).....

~but that also means I do not have to put up with the inevitable whining that comes from him when we shop for anything other than tools of food. Win-win I guess but I am not sure it is totally a win for me.

So tonight after work my sister and I embark on a, more than likely, nerve pinching quest of finding color coordinated outfits for Paul and I and another shirt for Paul's daughter (who also will take a few photos with us).

Although after these pics are done the count down really begins. Pictures at the end of May, wedding party cookout at the end of June, bridal shower at the end of July, bachelorette party mid August and it all is a build up for the Sept 6th wedding, I don't think I can wait much longer....when is it going to be here. The count down begins.

When will I learn??

I have found myself at a fork in my path. I am not one who loves, or for that matter even remotely likes cleaning, but due to the anal ways that my fiance's upbringing has brought him to regarding cleanliness (everything has a place and everything in its place) I feel I am beginning to develop a desire for wanting my place to look like a home and not a dorm room anymore.

"Thanks for gradually tearing me away from what remained my last hope at staying young dear" - Luv ya

I guess it is time for me to accept that if I don't make such a mess I won't have to fight myself to clean because it would not take hours to get it cleaned to Paul's discretion (that's Mr. clean to you).

So I am embarking on cleaning out our garage which is already a nasty feat within itself, with spiders and bugs and whatever else could be lurking in a 50+ yr old garage and old pet building. On top of all these wonderful things I had decided that when we moved in I would keep my 5 cats in there.

~ which multiplied almost immediately to 12 (one large liter) and then back down to 10 and further down to 8 and then up to 11. Then there were 9 and we are soon going down to 0 (maybe 2 - both fixed though) so I can get a dog.

Anyway their lovely presence has made that garage even more filthy than before. So tonight I dive into that mess and hopefully check one large job off my list. Again when will I learn???

Mondays need to be removed from the calendar.

I think for one year they should swap the Mondays and Fridays. Fridays should be the start of your week and Mondays the end. I think more than anything the word has embedded itself in our vocabulary as a term which means...suffering through 5 days of sheer H-E double hockey stick. If they were only to switch the words for a while maybe the word would lose some of its bad reputation.

Anyway... My Monday started out very typical. Paul kisses me goodbye as I, still with my eyes closed, half sit up in bed and say our normal byes and I love yous; see you tonight when we get home and continue with the yard work (a 2 month process so far - if it grows back God wants it that way let him do his job, dang weeds) and then come in and lay down, him on the couch me on the chair in utter exhaustion and await an hour that deems appropriate to actually go to bed. See I think we wait around to go to bed because we do not want to admit that we are getting older and need the sleep. "Look at me I can stay up until midnight" - I will just need a nap sometime tomorrow, a coffee, and 2 mountain dews that's all. After Paul leaves in the morning I go back to bed until my alarm rings usually 15-25 min. later and then I spend 2 minutes trying to talk myself out of getting out of bed just to get my phone to call in with a headache. "Get up you need the money, soon mom and dad will be giving you ALL of your bills, since your getting married and it is not appropriate for a married woman to have her parents still paying her car insurance, cell bill, and school loans." - but they can do it as long as they like I don't want them to lose all there responsibilities, that is when roles start reversing and children start looking out for and taking care of their parents - I am not ready for that!

And so I rise out of bed, do the usual routine, which only takes me 5-10 min. since I do not have to look like anyone important for my job and out the door I go by 7 am (oh I am not a morning person). I do not think I am completely awake until I actually get to work, which is a 30 min drive, you know what I think I am still half asleep and I am and hour and 1/2 into my day. I wonder when I will wake up. Maybe after my afternoon nap since I was up late telling myself "see I am still young I can stay up till the AM's, I am NOT getting older."

I think tonight I will pull an all nighter!!!

Here I go watch me try something new!

Bare with me as I get the hang of this whole new activity. Like many of first time bloggers out there (hoping I am not alone) I am unsure of where to start. My cousin blogs and reading her blog and talking to her is what got me started thinking about creating one myself. So here I am world, be prepared for some less than perfect grammar and some awful spelling if I forget to use my spell check. While contemplating a place to start where better than to get you up to date on what I have encountered so far on My Life's Path.

Childhood: I grew up like many children do carefree and wild. I grew up next to my grandparents (at least until I was 7 then moved 5 minutes away). Time spent with my Grams and Gramps are one of my most treasured memories from my childhood. I was close and still remain close to my cousins with whom I spent a lot of summers with at grams and gramps' house and their cottage. These times did not last long enough for any of us. As time goes on things change and they sold there house and the cottage after my grams had health issues in 95 and then in Nov of 2000 when my grams passed away (the worst day of my life) life did not so much change as it stopped completely for a moment and went in a totally different direction. I still hold on to the memories and although they mostly make me cry I smile knowing I had that time and I am blessed to have shared it with such special people. Those are days one never forgets.

Growing up: I became more active the older I got and participated in Dance (14 years), Swim Team (8 years), Volleyball (6 years), and other activities like softball, gymnastics, and choir. I had a large group of friends throughout high school and always had a boyfriend (When I dated it was long term or no term). After high school I found myself in a bad relationship which took a while to realize the severity of. After much growing up and developing a bit more self confidence I was able to see my way out and into a better life.

My better life: I graduated in 06 with my Associate degree in Early Childhood Education and then in 07 I graduated with a 3.9 (small ego boost) with my bachelor degree in Psychology, concentration substance abuse ( I have to complete on math test to actually have the degree - but it states I graduated - just no certificate yet). I currently work for a family as a nanny, they have 4 children (9, 7, 4, & 21 months) - oh am I busy there. I actually took over the job for my cousin to whom I owe thanks for the job and the idea to start this blog. I coach volleyball year round and play whenever I get the chance including on a summer co-ed league at a local bar. And for my most exciting news yet I am planning my wedding which is 4 months away - AHHHH. Got a lot to do yet. My fiance and I live in the house where I grew up next to my grandparents, which actually used to be their home when my dad was little. Paul, my fiance, is a sweet man, when he wants to be and is an excellent cook, laundry doer, and dishes washer, among many other talents - his momma taught him well. He has a 9yr. old daughter who thinks she is 16 but a sweet heart none the less. I am excited to start my family and hope I can raise them as well as my parents raised my sister and I. I love my family very much and am excited about the new phase in which I have found myself.

Well that is me in a LARGE nutshell I hope I did not scare anyone away, again I am new and as of right now writing what I know - the basics. Who knows where my path my lead me but I sure plan on enjoying sights along the way this is just going to be the place where I can store more memories along the way.